Hey there friend,
Firstly, I completely understand why you would feel upset by
I also completely understand why you would feel like the feeling was reciprocated. Spending a lot of time together, going on dates… It sounds like the start of something special. Especially since he has clearly told you how he feels. It makes sense if he has said to you that he is falling in love with you, that you would believe he is falling in love with you.
All of that said, there is never a way for us to predict or control someone else’s behaviour, or to read his thoughts and intentions. Life would be a lot easier if I could answer this question with “Oh, that’s an easy one. He’s making these choices because of XYZ…” but I can’t, because I (sadly) can’t read minds either.
I know situations like this are so tough, and I’d get it if you said you felt hurt, betrayed and confused. These feelings would not be an over-reaction regardless of the reason he has stopped contacting you, because no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. You could be right, and he could be going through something completely out of his control. But what he can control is how he treats you, and letting you know what’s going on or that he needs to take space.
The only thing you can do now is lean into what you can control- your own actions. Maybe he is going through something, maybe he’s not. I want you to think about who you would like to show up as a person in the face of this, and what that person would do. Would they send a final message to check in and embrace compassion? Would they choose self-respect and set a boundary for themselves not to accept this treatment from anyone? What you do next is ultimately up to you, and I’m sure whatever you choose will be the right choice for you as long as it’s true to your values.
Read more of Amber’s advice here.
Read more advice about ghosting here.
