Hey there reader
Gosh, that is such a hard situation to be in. It sounds like you’re being pulled between trying to support your friends new endeavour and being a good sport, and advocating for yourself in a situation that is making you feeling really uncomfortable. A friend sharing secrets and private information without your consent in definitely not okay. I can completely understand why you would feel like she had betrayed your trust- because she has. You’ve confided in her, been vulnerable around her, or just acted in ways that show you are comfortable around her and that information has been used in a way that you are not okay with.
I think while it would be less uncomfortable in terms of confrontation to “smile and wave” and let her go on with sharing this information, it is important to have an open conversation with your friend about how this situation is making you feel. I noticed you mention this has affected other friends, though I would leave that out of the conversation for now as the only person you can speak on behalf of here is you. I suggest you gently raise your concerns with your friend and let her know you don’t feel comfortable with her sharing your stories without your consent moving forward.
Make sure you have this conversation in a way where you are clear about what you are wanting and asking of her, and are setting firm boundaries about what you will accept moving forward. We want to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s unaware of how this is impacting you so it would be useful to approach this gently, and at a time where you both feel comfortable to have a one on one conversation. If she accepts what you say, that’s amazing. Problem solved. If she doesn’t, then that opens up a whole new collection of questions about the friendship, what you are willing to share with her, and your involvement with her as a friend.
Learn more about what to do when a friend shares your secrets here.
Read more of Amber’s advice here.