Hey there reader,
When I read your dilemma, the first thing that popped into my head was “Wow, haven’t we all been there at one point?”. This feels like such a universal experience to have a crush on someone that you work closely with. I want you to know you are definitely not alone in feeling this way, and I think you’d be surprised just how common the ‘am I a homewrecker’ rhetoric is.
There are a lot of reasons we might start to fall for someone that we work with. Sometimes it’s the idea of the forbidden love that gets us, or it might be the temptation of dating someone who we always see as put together and in control (because we see them when they are in work mode). We can often have similar interests or ideas to people who pick similar career paths to us, or, it can also just be because we spend a significant amount of time with a person and get to know them. Every. Single. Day. While workplace crushes are a normal experience, they can be overwhelming and confusing, especially when complicated by the fact that there is a partner involved. If things don’t work out how you had hoped, the office can quickly become a very awkward place to be.
While no one can tell you what the right decision is, there are a few things I’d encourage you to reflect on to help steer you in the direction that feels best for you.
- What is it about this person that you actually like? What I mean by that is,
I think it’s important to reflect on whether this crush is for genuine reasons or whether we are caught up in the workplace romance whirlwind. Only you know the answer to that. - What are your values? I know, I know. I talk about values all the time. For a good reason though. They are so important in making sure we are making choices that we can be proud of and okay with when we look back on our lives. There is so much in this world we can’t control, but we can control if we make decisions aligned
with our values or not. Does telling him how you feel align with the kind of person you want to be, or not? - What can this practically look like? I want you to play out the scenario in your head, realistically. What does it honestly look like for the two of you to be together? What would it look like if you did get together and then broke up? What if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? Have a think about these scenarios and if you can be okay with the potential outcomes.
As always, dear reader, I cannot make this decision for you. Reflect on those few ideas above, talk to close friends, and see what feels most aligned with who you truly are as a person. I wish you all the best and hope you get the outcome you desire.
Learn more about office relationships here.
Read more of Amber’s advice here.
