Ask Amber: Help! My Dream Job is a Nightmare

October 31, 2024

Question

When I first joined this company, I was thrilled to work somewhere I loved shopping from. But soon, I realised things weren’t as great as they seemed. Everyone takes the job way too seriously, and there’s constant gossip and tattling. It feels like an episode of Big Brother, with people always listening in and reporting minor comments to management. Management’s standards seem to shift based on who they’re friends with at the time. For example, I was called in to explain why I was “taking too long” in the bathroom, which felt invasive and a huge violation of privacy. I’m also micro-managed and occasionally bullied but am not in a position to quit. I’m struggling with how to manage my mental health in an environment where speaking up leads to criticism and even formal warnings for “negativity.” This culture of suppressing issues and discouraging self-expression has deeply affected my self-worth and other aspects of my life. It’s left me feeling insecure and questioning if I’ll ever thrive elsewhere.

Answer

Hey there reader,

I want to start by saying I’m so sorry for the difficult situation you’ve ended up in! I can only imagine how disappointing it must feel to be coming to the realisation that your dream job is not what you thought it was at all.

It sounds like overall, this workplace is a very unhealthy one. There are a lot of indicators here to suggest this workplace is not safe psychologically and some things you’ve mentioned might even be considered workplace bullying. My first suggestion to you is to make sure you are keeping a record of all of these interactions. You may never need it, but should things escalate or you need to take stress leave or workers’ compensation, for example, you may need evidence to support what you are saying.

Secondly, I’d consider how important it is for you to stay in this workplace. I understand it is a job you’ve always wanted and it can be hard to leave any job, but I think you need to consider the costs and benefits here. Is what you are getting from continuing to stay in this workplace worth more than what it is costing you and your mental health? What are you willing to sacrifice to keep a job that is not what you thought it was?

At the end of the day, no job is perfect, but this job sounds unhealthy and safe. I think your next consideration is how tightly you are willing to hold onto this workplace, and when can you get your resume ready to start submitting applications on SEEK.

Amber Sargeant

Meet Amber Sargeant, The Modern Muse’s resident psychologist, however, you might know her better as The Anxious Psych on TikTok or from her clinic The Sunshine Club Psychology. With a Masters of Professional Psychology, and a Masters of Psychology Practice (Clinical) under her belt, Amber works with all different kinds of presentations from anxiety and depression to personality disorders, ADHD, and everything in between. Her TikTok forms a community hub for accessible information about mental health and psychology in a way that is more approachable and understandable to the average person.

Amber is also someone who also struggles with Anxiety and aims to highlight that while we each have our own experience with difficult emotions and situations, we can learn to manage effectively and to make sure we are still able to build the life we want. Amber is such a warm and passionate clinician and we are so lucky to have her on our team. We can’t wait for her to help our readers “find their sunshine”.

November 2024

Issue 14 out now

Ask Amber: Help! My Dream Job is a Nightmare

Question

Answer

Amber Sargeant

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