Dear Reader,
Thanks so much for reaching out with this! I would be very confident in saying you are not alone in this predicament. It is common for people in long-term relationships to feel like they are stagnating, or waiting on a proposal. There are so many reasons that are contributing to this trend. Cost of living, social expectations, norms shifting and a move away from religion. Even with all of that in mind though, it doesn’t make the waiting any easier if that commitment is one that is really important to you.
I can see that being engaged is something that is important to you, but it sounds like it isn’t something you’ve spoken about at all. Dear reader, I wonder, do you know what your partner’s stance on proposal and marriage is at all? I wonder if he knows this is a step that you view as an important one and if he feels the same way.
I can sense your hesitancy in having the conversation about proposals and that you want it to come from a place of love rather than something that feels forced but I am the world’s biggest advocate for an open conversation. There is a huge difference between nagging and pressuring, and bringing to the table something important to you that you’d like to discuss. You don’t have to demand a date or plan the engagement for him, but I see a lot of value in sitting down together and checking that your values are the same about proposals and marriage and having a broader discussion about how you envisage the rough ‘timelines’ of your lives together. These kinds of conversations are the ones that keep a relationship strong and are important in all healthy relationships. I wish you all the best with this important conversation!
Read more advice about proposals here.
Read more of Amber’s advice here.
