Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out. That sounds like such a tough situation that you’re in and I’m sorry that Christmas is such a tricky time. I can only imagine that it is so much harder with so many others leaning into Christmas joy at this time of the year. I hope though, that you can find some comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone in not liking Christmas and there are many others out there that find the festive season to be one of the hardest times of the year.
I’ve spent a little bit of time on this one, thinking about how best to approach this situation with your parents. It’s hard to know the exact right way to approach a situation like this one without knowing your parents and the context of what your family has been through together. At the end of the day though, it sounds like whatever has happened has had a big impact on the way you feel about your relationship with them.
My first approach is always to sit down for a conversation voicing how you feel. This doesn’t have to be a conversation that is accusatory or steeped in blame. It might be more about pointing out that because of certain things that have happened in
the past, Christmas is a hard time for you and opening a conversation about what has happened in your family unit that leads you to feel this way.
From here, you might want to change the way you approach family Christmas. Think about things like going late and leaving early, offering the day what you can and protecting your own energy.
In saying all of that, you will never have control over how your parents and family act and respond to this. You cannot control what they bring to the conversation and what they take on board. Your power is in the control you have over what you do, and being content in that you have handled the situation to the best of your ability in a way that aligns with your values.
I would also say that it sounds like there is a lot unresolved for you from your past. I would also consider reaching out to a psychologist to work through all of this and come up with a more comprehensive plan of how to navigate your family relationships.
All the best my dear, I’ll be thinking of you this holiday season.
To read more of Ambers advice, head here.
To read more about surviving Christmas Day with a dysfunctional family here.
Disclaimer: Please note that all information given in this article is general in nature and does not constitute psychological treatment. For tailored support, please ensure you reach out to a registered psychologist. In the case of an emergency, please contact LIFELINE (13 11 14) or call 000.
