Throughout my 18 years of existence, some of my most cherished encounters have revolved around the strong women in my life. The value of platonic love and affection, the importance of manners, understanding pride and the power of community, are all key life lessons that were either taught or influenced in some way shape or form by the important women in my life.
The unparalleled value and importance of these female interactions is brought to the forefront during International Women’s Day – a day designed to foster female empowerment and celebrate female-led communities and achievements. This year, the United Nations Women is calling for equality among ALL women – which is said to be underpinned by “empowering the next generation —youth, particularly young women and adolescent girls—as catalysts for lasting change”.
In light of this, I’ve reflected upon some of the most impactful female-led encounters that have empowered and influenced the person I am today – so here’s what makes them special.
The earliest (and arguably most foundational) life lesson I recall learning was from one of my childhood female best friends – the importance of manners.
Yes, my parents also taught me these (frequently prompting me with “now make sure you say thank you” after receiving a gift), but it was only through the observation and imitation of one of my best female friends that I learnt how to properly hold a friendly conversation with someone. This particular friend always responded to conversation openings with “I’m good thanks! How are you?” – which is a phrase I quickly adopted, and to this day still use to open most conversations (when the comment is truthful).
Despite the obvious nature of the phrase, this memory serves as my earliest recollection of female-led learning – an empowering concept that fuelled my desire to imitate the important women I surrounded myself with.
This desire only grew as I got older, when I recall listening to one of my female cousins as she spoke to my younger brother. Whilst I couldn’t remember a single word she had said, all I can recall thinking is “everything she says has so much substance, and makes so much sense – I want to talk just like that”.
As the years progressed, I began to understand the power of aligning with female-dominated communities – which I like to attribute to my sporting endeavours.
I played soccer for a total of 7 years, spanning from the ages of 9 to 16. Years of training were spent on dimly lit pitches and neglected change rooms, whilst the manicured grass and regularly cleaned clubhouses were reserved for the senior men’s teams.
Crowd attendance at female league matches (even that of the Matildas) were significantly underwhelming, and I was encouraged to look up to the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi. This was radically challenged when Australia hosted the Women’s World Cup in 2023 – which saw the whole country pause the AFL on their TV to cheer on the Matildas. The overflowing pride and empowerment this fuelled me with was impactful – I felt seen, acknowledged and understood having been a part of that community for the majority of my teenage years.
More recently, I found myself coming to the realisation halfway through a pilates class that all the attendees were women – including the instructor leading the class. There was something so empowering holding a plank to Britney Spears’ “Toxic” in a 35 degree room packed with 30 other women. The room radiated intense strength and zero judgment (which made sure I didn’t dare drop my plank until the timer was up).
The power of female-dominated communities fuels pride, empowerment and visibility.
Although I’m yet to experience love in a romantic sense, my two female best friends have made sure that I know what real platonic love looks and feels like.
I wouldn’t consider myself a naturally affectionate person (just ask my close friends and family). In fact, this is something I have had to learn – and am still learning how to express. However, my two female best friends have completely changed the way I view affection and care for others, creating a safe space for me to accept and express affection in a way that feels right to me.
To platonically love/be loved by a woman means to be heard, seen, understood, valued, put in your place, laughed at and cried with. This statement held true when my best friend held me as I uncontrollably sobbed during the aftermath of a breakup (which upon reflection didn’t deserve nearly as many tears as I let myself shed).
It also held true when we screamed at each other over some techno at a music festival “I’m so glad I’m experiencing this with you!” These women have taught me the necessity of platonic female friendships in nurturing self growth, as well as the importance of encouraging the people you love. No competition – just three women wanting the absolute best for each other.
This notion was also reinforced more recently, when a female colleague (whom I highly regarded and admired) told me how beautiful she thought I was. This whole time I had been admiring her, she had also been admiring me.
To platonically love/be loved by a woman means to be heard, seen, understood, valued, put in your place, laughed at and cried with.
It would also be impossible to write an article about female empowerment without mentioning the relationship I hold with my Mum.
Like most mothers and daughters (I can only assume), we’ve had our fair share of screaming matches and makeup hugs. My teenage years were spent riddled with angst (which my parents absorbed the brunt force of), where our relationship became strained and disconnected. However, my perception of my Mum began to change after I learnt of her dysfunctional prior marriage, as I began to recognise the magnitude of what leaving that relationship meant for her, and all she has achieved since.
It’s empowering to be raised by a woman who is fuelled with the incredible strength of her past, instilling into me the importance of taking control of your own narrative and trusting your intuition. It’s also incredibly special that despite our disagreements, she is still there to be both my best friend and mum – someone who I can both laugh with and learn from.
Now I would like to clarify: this wasn’t intended to serve as a bragging essay about the important women I’m exceptionally lucky to have in my life. Its intention is to highlight the value in female relationships and interactions, and how these moments have served as inspiration and empowerment for me throughout my childhood. Interactions with these women have facilitated an uncompromised feeling of safety and intimate understanding, knowing at the core we’re all just women trying to thrive in a patriarchal society.
Reflecting on the strong female relationships in your life prompts an inward reflection as to how you can be that woman for the generations to come – acting as a driving force behind the many goals of International Women’s Day: to advance women’s rights, promote gender equality, and foster empowerment for the next generation of girls.
Read more of our International Women’s Day articles here.
