It’s been almost six months since I graduated university and the thought of what my next chapter will look like still lingers over me like a stubborn cloud. Although I have entered into the world of full-time employment, to what could easily be described as my ‘dream job’, the idea that my student life aka the ‘in-between’ era is no more, is a hard one to grapple with.
Although I am overwhelmed with joy and disbelief that I made it this far and achieved a goal that I spent the majority of my adolescence working towards, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry about all the ways in which my life is going to change – or has already. To avoid spiralling into an anxious state, I began reflecting on the messy yet somewhat beautiful ‘in-between’ era that was my university experience.
The ‘in-between’ era – what I choose to define as the period between being an imprisoned high school student and a fully-fledged adult – was a funny one for me.
Leaving my hometown to move to the big city where I knew no one was a daunting step – and one that I questioned many times. I loved where I grew up and it’ll always remain my happy place, but the overwhelming desire for ‘more’ out of life was something I couldn’t get out of my mind.
After a tumultuous first year of university due to Covid, I found myself dreaming endlessly of running away to a new place and starting fresh. I didn’t necessarily want to erase my life but rather open myself up to new experiences without the preconceived ideas and opinions of those who surrounded me. In a moment of weakness – or some could say strength – I decided to bite the bullet and apply to transfer to a university in Brisbane, and to my surprise – I was always a sucker for boarding the self-doubt train – I got in.
Within a matter of months, I went from sharing a small household with my parents and sister to suddenly having hundreds of new “sisters” at a residential college on campus. To say I felt like a fish out of water is an understatement, but I instantly knew this was the ‘more’ I had been craving. The freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted was both a blessing and a curse. I certainly made some not-so-great choices – which I now think of as learning curves – but I also had the most life-changing experiences I would’ve never had if I stayed in my comfort zone back home.
As a student, I felt invincible. Like nothing else mattered. I made mistakes, was reckless at times, had absolutely no idea what I was doing with my life, and took each day as it came. For those three years, the ‘student’ label was my fallback – no matter what sticky situation I was in, I could always rely on the phrase “I’m just a student” to get me out of it.
Sofia on her graduation day
But as I now come to terms with the fact I am no longer a student, and in fact on the payroll, I feel a sense of grief when it comes to saying goodbye to that version of myself. The ‘in-between’ era I rely on as my unofficial break from life is no more, instead, I must face life as an adult – and all that comes with it.
I now have responsibilities, a place I must show up to every day, and people who rely on me. Despite these being common aspects of most people’s lives, this is still something I’m learning to adjust to. So, to those feeling a little lost in life, you’re not alone. Those strange feelings you have as one door closes and another one opens are all part of the process and something I’m grateful I have the chance to experience.
If these feelings resonate with you, read about the quarter-life crisis here.
Learn more about life after university here.
