How to Stop Sabotaging Your Success

It’s hard not to open up Instagram on a Tuesday night right before bed, doom scroll your feed that is filled with snapshots of the success of others and lie there for another 2 hours seething in jealousy. If this sounds familiar you’re definitely not alone. Your mid to late 20’s are a time when careers are being cemented, engagements are popping up all over the place, and personal goals are being bragged about left right and centre. You may find yourself playing the toxic comparison game, especially with those closest to you. Not only can it erode your confidence, but it can also sabotage your mental wellbeing.

Comparison isn’t a new phenomenon. But in an era where every achievement, big or small, is broadcasted online, it’s become a relentless source of pressure. Whether it’s the friend who just bought a house (how and with what money?!), the influencer who seems like things just fall into her lap, or that one acquaintance who’s always on some exotic vacation, these constant reminders of what you don’t have can make you feel like you’re falling behind.

Even though we know the age-old adage “what you see online is just a highlight reel” it doesn’t seem to help much when you’re stuck in a comparison hole, thinking vicious thoughts about why a certain someone shouldn’t have gotten that promotion.

Engaging in this constant comparison battle can have serious consequences on your mental health. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and in some cases, even depression. When you’re always measuring your success against others, it’s easy to overlook your own achievements and the progress you’ve made.

For women in their late 20s and early 30s especially, this is a critical time to focus on self-growth and mental wellness. Instead of letting comparison steal your joy, it’s essential to shift your mindset to one of self-compassion and gratitude.

Helpful Strategies to Overcome Comparison

1. Practice Self-Awareness: The first step in overcoming comparison is recognising when you’re doing it. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re scrolling through social media or hearing about someone else’s success. If you notice feelings of jealousy or inadequacy, acknowledge them without judgement.
2. Set Your Own Standards: It’s easy to get caught up in societal expectations, but your success should be defined by your own goals and values, not by what others are doing. Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you, and set realistic, personal benchmarks for your progress.
3. Limit Social Media Consumption: While social media can be a great tool for staying connected, it can also be a major source of comparison. Consider setting boundaries on how much time you spend on these platforms, or even take breaks when you need to focus on your own well-being.
4. Celebrate Your Wins: No matter how small they may seem, celebrate your achievements. By focusing on your own journey and progress, you’ll be less likely to compare yourself to others. Remember, your path is unique, and your accomplishments deserve recognition.
5. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to comparison. By regularly reflecting on what you’re thankful for, you can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. This positive mindset can help you appreciate your own life more fully.

Success isn’t a race, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for achieving your goals and we truly don’t know what happens behind the scenes of someone else’s life. Instead of letting comparison steal your joy, embrace your journey with confidence and self-compassion.

Read more about self comparison here.

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