When I was little, I always dreamed of growing up and getting married. I’d watch Disney movies on every single weekend, enamoured with the notion of a prince coming to save a damsel in distress and steal her heart away. That the meaning of life could be so simple, so easy. It’s something that’s been ingrained in us from a very early age through innocent-meaning films, books, and pop culture. Girl meets boy/boy saves girl, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
That’s the beginning of the list of life timeline we blindly accept as we grow up.
After love comes career. We enter school and learn about the linear, cyclical nature of the work force. Your productivity, ambition and drive determines how successful you are — it makes you a more admiral, valued person.
Why do we accept this as the norm?
The Architecture Behind the “Default” Life
This default life plan society has set up for us doesn’t feel unnatural because it’s been normalised. Falling in love, building a career, buying a home, having children and then retiring is architectural, built by systems that benefit from predictability.
Mid-Century Domestic Policy
A lot of what we consider a comfortable, normal adulthood was shaped in the mid-20th century.
Post-war policies in Western countries incentivised home ownership, marriage and child-rearing. Tax benefits favoured married couples. Suburban expansion normalised the nuclear family. Advertising reinforced domestic ideals.
The nuclear household wasn’t just sentimental; it was economically strategic.
Over time, that model hardened into a cultural benchmark. Marriage in your twenties, with a house and children soon to follow.
Even though economies have changed, the pressures from the life timeline that guided those who came before us lingers.
Economic Systems, Corporate Hierarchies and Cultural Storytelling
Economic systems don’t operate in isolation. They’re mirrored in our workplaces and romanticised in our stories.
The modern economy depends on stability and forward motion, which is why in our careers, we’re all encouraged to push onwards and upwards, even grow diagonally if we have to. We enter the work force at the bottom, then climb (or claw) our way up rung by rung. If you’re not ascending to the top, you’re considered lazy, unambitious, or stagnant.
That same logic bleeds into personal life. Relationships escalate. Careers accelerate. Time is segmented into stages. There is always a “next step”.
Cultural storytelling makes this structure feel aspirational rather than imposed. Rom coms end with the guy getting the girl. Career films conclude with the protagonist on top. It’s so rare that you’ll see a mainstream movie wherein the long-term couple doesn’t get married, or the person content with their career stays put in their position.
So when we chase promotions, engagements or property, it doesn’t feel like compliance. It feels like desire. The architecture is hidden because it’s wrapped in a romanticised narrative.
Customising and Deviating from the Societal Default
We customise our lives to a degree. We pick a career path that interests us, but then we follow the same end goal: to climb the corporate ladder — or, if you’re starting your own business — grow it to be as large/as successful as you possibly can.
Of course, I’m making a generalisation, but it’s the norm for the majority of us.
Deviating from this feels like failure because we’re scared of the unknown. With the normalised path, we know exactly what’s laid out for us because we’ve seen it happen before.
Some people are perfectly content with this life; it’s what they’ve carved for themselves. But if you’re not, and you don’t customise your life to what’s going to fulfill you physically, emotionally and spiritually, you’ll walk through life with dissatisfaction and a hunger for more.
Deviation is scary, but it’s not impossible. Think of any artist or cultural figure who has made history — they haven’t followed the standard ‘terms and conditions’ of our life timeline. There’s nothing wrong with breaking away from what society has deemed proper practice, you just need to form the courage to do it.
Fuck the invisible rule book. Make your own life timeline.
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