It’s that time on our calendars again. The clock is about to chime, the fireworks are about to ignite and Father Time is, yet again, about to shoo us gently through the portal into another year. 2024. What will the year mean for you and your New
Of course, this is also the time when many of you are admonishing yourselves for the promises you didn’t keep from last New Year’s Eve, and when you start deciding what expectations and obligations you will place upon yourself for the coming twelve months.
Sure, you can prepare to revisit the same old resolutions – the ones you declared you “really, truly mean this time”. Or perhaps you are lucky enough to be celebrating a promise well-kept and are hoping to launch into another year of grit and determination.
Or maybe this year could be a bit different. As the end of 2023 approaches and you start formulating your resolutions for the coming year, I invite you to stop and ask yourself four simple questions that will set you free from obligation and help you make a resolution that you can truly keep.
1. Is this resolution actually mine?
There is no escaping the fact that we are social creatures and, as such, we are often under the influence of social expectations and peer pressure. It’s okay to want to belong and to follow the crowd, but when making a promise to yourself it’s best to separate your personal desires from the inherited ideas and ideals of the people around you. You will have innate desires and dreams for yourself – things you want to achieve; someone you want to be. As you make your resolution, ensure you are honouring that unique, inner voice and not just echoing the chatter of people around you.
2. Do I truly want to do this?
If you use the word ‘should’ when describing the reasons behind your resolution, then you can bet that you are creating a commitment for yourself that is based on obligation and expectation. When you do something because you ‘should’ there is an inherent resistance to the situation; you are inviting in struggle, resentment and ultimately disappointment. In contrast, when you commit to something because you want to, you are fully aligned with the decision: body, mind and soul. You will have the determination you need, the energy you require and the willpower to see it through – because it will come from a source of unlimited, authentic desire. This kind of desire can make anything happen.
3. Am I accepting and honouring who I am?
There is an inherent risk when making New Year’s resolutions because, as the name implies, they are expected to be made annually and last throughout a twelve-month period. This is no trouble at all for those who are naturally attuned to the concept of ‘slow and steady’; those who can plan long-term, and work steadily and tirelessly toward a long-distance goal. But not everyone is like that. If you are going to make a commitment to yourself for 2024, then ensure you make one that fits your personality type. If you have the focus and patience to undertake a long-term goal, then by all means set yourself a twelve-month agenda. However, if you prefer short-term projects, faster gratification, and regular accomplishments then it is almost pointless setting a year-long goal for yourself. There is nothing wrong with who you are or how you get a sense of joy or fulfilment from life. Acknowledge this within yourself. Honour yourself. And gift yourself appropriate (and obtainable) resolutions.
4. Is this the right time to be making resolutions?
It is easy to forget that our New Year is just an arbitrary date set in a moment in time; a point from which to start counting on the calendar. The fact is, there are a multitude of ‘New Years’ celebrated by cultures around the world, at different times of the year. Therefore, you need not hold yourself accountable for making life changes or committing to new ways of being just because it is New Year’s Day. Your life has a rhythm of its own and it is most unlikely that it will magically coincide with the Gregorian calendar. If you are in flux at the moment, dealing with endings, or simply not in a position to make clear choices about your life and your future, then you are being unfair to yourself if you try to create, and stick to, any resolutions. Rest, wait, relax. There will be other, more appropriate times to start promising things to yourself.
As we come to the end of another year, I encourage you to remember: the world needs kindness, gentleness, tenderness and acceptance. Perhaps you can help contribute to an amazing 2024 by being more kind, gentle, tender and accepting of yourself. That is a resolution truly worth sticking to.
Happy New Year!
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