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Ask Amber: My Best Friend is Cheating. Do I Keep Her Secret?

December 31, 2024

Question

I have a moral dilemma on my hands. My best friend recently admitted to me that she cheated on her long-term boyfriend. She has voiced her concerns about whether she wants to be with him for a while now and is unsure if she loves him. She has many reasons and I believe her concerns are valid but it has nothing to do with him being a bad person. She said it is just because they have grown apart in her opinion. She admitted that she had been talking to someone who she had previously been in her life for a month or so and then finally slept together. When I asked why she did this she said it was because she thought it would help her figure out if she really wanted to be with her partner or not. Whilst I sympathise with her concerns about her partner, I obviously condone cheating. I resent her for putting me in this situation as well. Do I tell her partner? Is it even my place to do so?

Answer

Dear reader, I really feel for you. That is such a tough spot to be in, and I can only imagine what it feels like to be pulled between your personal ethical code and the standards you hold yourself to as a friend. I completely understand where you’re coming from with those feelings of resentment...

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Picture of Amber Sargeant

Amber Sargeant

Meet Amber Sargeant, The Modern Muse’s resident psychologist, however, you might know her better as The Anxious Psych on TikTok or from her clinic The Sunshine Club Psychology. With a Masters of Professional Psychology, and a Masters of Psychology Practice (Clinical) under her belt, Amber works with all different kinds of presentations from anxiety and depression to personality disorders, ADHD, and everything in between. Her TikTok forms a community hub for accessible information about mental health and psychology in a way that is more approachable and understandable to the average person.

Amber is also someone who also struggles with Anxiety and aims to highlight that while we each have our own experience with difficult emotions and situations, we can learn to manage effectively and to make sure we are still able to build the life we want. Amber is such a warm and passionate clinician and we are so lucky to have her on our team. We can’t wait for her to help our readers “find their sunshine”.