Ask Amber: Help! I Have Fallen in Love with My Therapist

April 30, 2025

Question

I have a problem, and unfortunately, my go-to person for advice is the problem. I think I’m falling for my therapist. At first, I brushed it off as admiration – he’s thoughtful, emotionally intelligent, and actually listens (a rare quality in men, let’s be honest). But lately, I’ve caught myself looking forward to sessions way too much, caring about what I wear and overanalysing his comments. I know this is classic transference but knowing that doesn’t make the feelings go away. The obvious solution would be to switch therapists, but I really don’t want to. I’ve spent months opening up to him, unpacking years of emotions, and the thought of starting over and rehashing my entire life to someone new sounds exhausting. But staying feels equally risky. How do I navigate this without completely embarrassing myself or sabotaging the progress I’ve made? From someone with too many feelings and not enough boundaries!

Answer

Hey there,  First of all, you should be really proud of yourself for recognising what’s going on here. It is such a tough and confusing situation when your brain starts to blur those lines and transference kicks in. Just so we’re all on the same page here, transference is when old feelings, beliefs or experiences...

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Picture of Amber Sargeant

Amber Sargeant

Meet Amber Sargeant, The Modern Muse’s resident psychologist, however, you might know her better as The Anxious Psych on TikTok or from her clinic The Sunshine Club Psychology. With a Masters of Professional Psychology, and a Masters of Psychology Practice (Clinical) under her belt, Amber works with all different kinds of presentations from anxiety and depression to personality disorders, ADHD, and everything in between. Her TikTok forms a community hub for accessible information about mental health and psychology in a way that is more approachable and understandable to the average person.

Amber is also someone who also struggles with Anxiety and aims to highlight that while we each have our own experience with difficult emotions and situations, we can learn to manage effectively and to make sure we are still able to build the life we want. Amber is such a warm and passionate clinician and we are so lucky to have her on our team. We can’t wait for her to help our readers “find their sunshine”.