Dear reader,
I really feel for you. That is such a tough spot to be in, and I can only imagine what it feels like to be pulled between your personal ethical code and the standards you hold yourself to as a friend. I completely understand where you’re coming from with those feelings of resentment towards your friend as well. It’s such a tricky balance trying to decide which values to honour in a scenario like this.
As with any situation, you have a number of options of how you can handle yourself in this situation. Do you remove yourself completely and tell your friend you need space while she works through this situation as her actions are not aligning with your values? Do you tell her boyfriend and then manage the fall out that will create with your friend? Do you book the next flight to Paris and never look back?
I wish I could tell you exactly what to do in this situation reader, however, I think the only one who can truely decide what is best to do here is you. What I suggest you do is sit with yourself three fresh pieces of paper. Write a title on each outlining your top three solutions, and below each write your pros and cons of that approach. Then below that, write which values you’d be honouring and which you’d feel your moving away from with that approach. Then finally, look at all three pieces of paper with the information you’ve collected, and weigh which decision feels like the most true to you as a person. While this situation is a tough one, and there is no perfect or easy solution, you want to be able to walk away from this with the knowledge that you made a choice that aligns to who you want to show up as in the world.
Read more advice on cheating and moral dilemmas here.
Read more of Amber’s advice here.
